Two nights ago me and my friend just got back from a night of fun in Sunny Beach, Bulgaria and we started talking about different types of women out there.
Basically it all came down to this: is she investing?
Making it Happen
When you start becoming an elite man you deviate from the mainstream. You go from being a mainstream sheep to a vigorous wolf. When you reach this point you understand that life rarely, if ever, just serves you golden eggs just like that. You need to go out get your own golden eggs- trust me it won’t ‘just happen’.
This means that if you see that gorgeous girl, no matter the situation, you actually walk up to her and start talking to her. You make stuff happen instead of 99% of the guys out there who just hope and pray something will happen, or worse, need alcohol to overcome their inhibitions of talking to cuties in a bar or club.
Interestingly, after you start playing the numbers game, you eventually start to adopt the screening mentality. Once you internalize the screening mentality you play the numbers game hard (you talk to a lot of girls) and see if they are sexually available (meaning you check if they dig you and would like to make some ‘lovin).
However, when guys have decided that they want to be a ‘player’ they often take way too much shit from girls. Lord knows I took way too much shit from girls when I started becoming an elite man and started taking action when it came down to my love and sex life.
Does she Appreciate Your Unconventional Approach?
I would stop a girl in the street and she would make a nasty remark, or her friend would give me a degrading look or her entire response would just be rude. It didn’t even had to be very obvious, the signals could be very subtle but I would always recognize them. They completely lack the class to recognize the subtle beauty of you walking up to them- and those are the girls you generally should avoid.
At first you put up with all bullshit girls throw at you. But even when you get at a level where a statistically significant number of girls will be attracted to you it still happens- you just stand there like a fool, powerless. Totally normal, happens to everyone- even the best of us.
Some guy’s call shit girls throw at you whether verbally or nonverbally a ‘shit test’ and advocate that you should smoothly and tactfully deflect her rather rude response.
BULLSHIT.
If she lacks the sophistication to recognize the beauty of the situation- you as a man taking the initiative in a situation where 99% of the losers don’t have the balls to even walk-up to her, then she needs to get lost– fast.
Let’s be honest, if a hundred lads see a beautiful girl during the day maybe 3 stop and talk to her out of which only 1 can stay calm and actually vibe with the girl. The other 2 lost the battle before it was even fought because they were either too much in their head or just acted like a fucking constructional worker around the girl.
Even if you’ve been talking to 40 girls that day the fact that you had the courage to walk up to her stopping her in her dead in her tracks is one of the biggest compliments you can give to the girl. Let me repeat that:
When you walk up to a girl to let her know you find her attractive it is one of the biggest compliments you can give to a girl.
Let’s be honest- even hot girls don’t get approached as much as you might think. If anything, they come across as intimidating to most guys because they lack a sense of entitlement.
Sure they get plenty of sexual offers and attention from the weak, especially in the whole nightclub scene where their ego’s are boosted repeatedly, but that is usually from guys who are either drunk as fuck or have played it nice and became ‘friends’ with the girl. They rarely get stopped by a real man with a sense of entitlement who risks ‘public embarrassment’ just to get to know her.
It takes a real man for that. Therefore, if she is does not appreciative your courage she is not worthy of your time.
As a real man you do most of the ‘investing’ initially both physically and mentally. You invest by walking after her. You invest by being honest stating you find her attractive which makes you more vulnerable. You invest by carrying the conversation initially because she is just shocked at what just happened.
In the first minute or so, you generally do 80% of the talking and the leading so it is obvious that you are doing the lion-share of the investing. The high quality girls are the ones who are appreciative of your advances- even if they have a boyfriend.
There is a huge difference between the girl who is not available and just looks at you as if you are ‘inferior’ and the girl who is not available but smiles, lets you know she really appreciates the compliment and then gracefully lets you know she has a boyfriend. I always try and go for the latter for the rude girls are generally not worth the investment.
When I stop a girl, either because she gave me an ‘eye smile’ and I liked her appearance, or because I just saw her somewhere and wanted to come see what she was like I expect nothing less than a woman who is elegant and appreciative of my unconventional approach– even if she is not interested.
It is precisely this mindset that separates the losers from the winners. The losers are guy’s who are so entrapped in the whole ‘getting a girl’ thing that they take too much shit from girls who don’t appreciate their efforts. She makes a nasty remark and they ignore it. She keeps looking away and he doesn’t call her out on it. She makes a subtle degrading comment and they accept it. They are just weak as shit because they are willing to sacrifice their own sense of worth to get in her pants.
The winners are guys who are strong by going in with a different mindset: they don’t put up with all bullshit and are willing to walk away at any moment in time.
Let me repeat that:
The winners are the guys who are willing to walk away at any moment in time.
It is always the person who is non-needy and is willing to walk away at any moment in time who has the upper hand. I’ve been rereading a book called ‘The 50th Law’ and couldn’t help but notice the similarities between business meetings 50cent had and talking to girls.
Lessons from 50cent
After Eminem signed him to Interscope Records he actually gained power amongst his peers. If there was a business meeting and 50 didn’t like it, he just walked away.
Think like 50cent: walk away if the other party is not putting in the effort or deems you inferior in any way, shape, or form.
That doesn’t mean you act like a little girl and walk away as soon as she gives you some ‘resistance’- after all, talking to women is an artform. It is a sensual dance where both parties engage in push/pull which is essentially just teasing to see how the other party responds.
But when she is being degrading to you, which can be very subtle, you need to assess the situation from an objective point of view and determine whether this girl will really be worth your time and effort.
Let me give you an example:
Yesterday I saw a cute Bulgarian brunette walking to the boulevard and I stopped her immediately saying “Pretty random, just saw you, thought you looked sexy, and here I am to get to know you” which she responded to with “Why?”
“Because I wanted to see what you were like, I said”. She continued her defense in a hard to describe slightly degrading tone of voice “well I think it’s weird you said sexy. If you said I had nice hair or nice eyes it would be different but this is just weird”.
I looked at her, shook my head letting her know I disapproved her response and then I just turned around and walked away. Life is too short for this nonsense. She tried to stop me but I had already made up my mind- she is clearly not appreciative of my efforts so that dynamic will likely be dominating our entire future ‘relationship’.
In similar situations, there are also girls who respond something like this: (with a huge smile) “Thank you soo much! Do you always talk to girls like this? (giggles)”.
In those situations the girl is being responsive, elegant, and appreciative. Like a lady should be like. Those are the types of girls I genuinely enjoy spending my time with– and so should you. These girls are at the next level as I often like to call them. They understand that it takes balls to do what you just did.
Let’s say I’d still take the number of the brunette, swallowing my pride and betraying my testicles taking her shit and degrading form of communication with the plan of texting her the next day and meeting up with her later that week. It would probably go something like this:
I’d text her “Hey cutie it was cool meeting you the other day. How was your evening with your friends?” and she either doesn’t reply or replies something along the lines of: “Hi. Yes it was nice.”
Now I have to continue betraying my balls, continuously over-investing and being at the mercy of her emotional ups and downs until we meet-up where I would likely still be carrying the interaction 90% of the way. If I would prove ‘worthy’ we would have sex.
Thanks but no thanks. I’ll pass.
Both Parties Need to Invest EQUALLY
If she feels you need to prove anything because she has a weird sense of entitlement you have basically become her bitch. She needs to invest and be appreciative of your masculine behavior- period. If she somehow thought you were ‘inferior’ than you better get the fuck out because trust me- there are plenty of girls who will deem you equal or even superior.
Yesterday I grabbed a drink with an absolutely stunning Ukranian girl who was with her mom when I stopped her on the boulevard two days ago. It was a totally different vibe. I was investing in the interaction by walking up to her, carrying the conversation and stating my intent and she invested back by being receptive, elegant, asking questions and flirting back.
She appreciated my cojones grande and also asked me lots of stuff to get to know me. I flirted with her, and she flirted with me. She texted me, and she waited for me and me alone until I arrived at the club looking for the hottest girl there, my little Ukranian girl who I met during the day.
That is the type of investment relationship I’d like to engage in. One where both the man and the woman invest equally in whatever it is they have going on whether it is a brief interaction or a relationship. The same goes with friendships, if one party is clinging on the other party, it won’t work. One will do all the work and the other will be free-riding all the way to paradise.’
In fact, it is one of the reasons I ditched a lot of my friends at some point- I felt they were too clingy and free-riding too much.
So next time you stop a girl dead in her tracks remember that she should quickly reciprocate by investing in you too. That means she asks you questions, it means she holds eye contact and acknowledges your presence. It means that she doesn’t listen to her cock blocking fat friend who doesn’t get any yum-yum.
It means that she is a high quality girl who appreciates you and is willing to give you bonus points for that by investing back in you.
Be willing to walk away at any point during the interaction. A man of purpose, an elite man does not take shit from anyone- especially not from a girl who simply doesn’t ‘get it’.
Adopting this mindset will allow you to date not only absolutely stunners but also girls who are just cool as fuck to hang out with- which is what we all want at the end, player or not.
Mining diamonds starts with having standards on what constitutes a diamond and what constitutes a rock- and a diamond doesn’t give you shit.