Stop Using Soap And Shampoo!

I haven’t used soap and shampoo for several years. And… (wait a second, just smelling my armpits) … I’m still doing fine! It hasn’t affected my social life or my dating life – as you might know I have had more than my share of sexual and social fun. Even without soap and shampoo my hair is awesome, my skin is awesome, everything’s good. Let me tell you why I highly recommend you to join what they called the “no poo” movement.

Soap and shampoo is unnecessary

Here’s a funny thing… Soap and shampoo creates their own demand. You only have to use soap, because you are using soap. If you didn’t use it, you didn’t have to use it. Let me explain.

When you use soap on your skin, hair, face or whatever, the soap dries your skin out. And when the skin gets dried out, it starts producing more oil, to compensate for the dryness – the body always wants to be in balance (and have moisturized skin). So as a result of using soap, you get more oily skin. So you use soap to remove the excess oil, and again, the soap dries the skin out and the cycle repeats. Shampoo works the same way. If you stop using soap and shampoo your skin and hair will not have to produce excess oil and will instead find its natural balance. Then you don’t need soap and shampoo to remove the excess oil – because there won’t BE any excess oil. Does that make sense?

We have this body, and it’s actually a pretty cool body, because … you know what? It can handle a lot of stuff ITSELF: You don’t need any special products to keep your skin healthy; you don’t need anything more than water to stay clean. The body adapts to whatever you give it. And if it’s used to “need” soap to be clean, then you need to use soap. But if you stop using it, you can do fine without it.

Soap and shampoo is unhealthy

Your skin is the biggest organ of your body. Besides drying it out and messing with the oiliness, soap and shampoo usually also contain tons of nasty chemicals, hormone-disturbing parabens, allergen-causing perfumes and other shit that will be absorbed in your body through your skin. This will not do you any good, and you know that.

Quitting soap and shampoo will save time

Yay, more time to play!

Quitting soap and shampoo will save money

And money is time, so more time to play!

Soap and shampoo is bad for the environment

Save mother nature from being fucked up from all the chemicals you wash out in the drain. Go no-poo and save a polar bear puppy.

No poo is more convenient

Without soap you can take a shower anywhere – if you are swimming in the sea, you can wash there, because you don’t need soap to get clean.

Primary Concerns About No Poo

BUT!!! What about smell?

There are two primary concerns about quitting soap. The first one is smell. Lots of people are concerned if they are going to smell. And of course you should not walk around and smell like shit, but on the other hand, if water can clean you fine, why do you need more? Why do you need to smell of 10.000 perfumes and shit like that? You’re not a fucking princess. Water will remove the smell of sweat and that’s all you need.

BUT!!! What about hygiene?

This is the second primary reaction I get from people when I tell them I don’t use soap. They always say – uh, that’s NASTY, you’re not CLEAN then.

First of all – YOU’RE NEVER CLEAN. Even if you COVER yourself in a whole fucking bottle of shampoo and eat a bar of soap afterwards, you won’t be clean, because your body is STILL full of bacteria. Killing every bacterium in your body would also not be a good idea anyways, because you also have a lot of good and helpful bacteria. The body works fine by itself – you don’t need to help it with a lot of chemicals and shit.

BUT!!! What about my hands?

You should always wash your hands after you’ve been to the bathroom or before you cook food. WITH SOAP OKAY! Don’t call me and be angry, while you sit on the toilet all day, because you’re a fucking idiot and got diarrhea because of bad hygiene.

BUT!!! What about the crotch and ass?

Just wash your dick/pussy/ass/whatever you have down there with water. It’s fine.

Actually, a scientific study was done in Denmark from 2010-2013, where a male volunteer was put on a strict no-soap-or-shampoo regimen, to test the effects on his social life. During those 3 years, the male volunteer was observed receiving sex and oral sex from more than 150 women – without any complaints about smell. The researchers concluded that showering without soap and shampoo was awesome.

Seriously. I have ALWAYS washed my southern regions with just water – more than 150 girls have sucked my dick (and felt it inside them as well of course), and I have never had any complaints. In fact, most girls eagerly lick it like a candy cone. How’s that for an extensive real-life-field-study? If you ask me, it is a definite proof that soap and shampoo is unnecessary, and it also proves that the rest of my body didn’t need soap either – because if I had smelled bad in general, then they would not even have had sex with me in the first place.

Convinced About No Poo Now?

How to shower/clean yourself without soap and shampoo

Take a cold shower for around 2 minutes. Your hair just needs some water in it and some scrubbing, then it’s clean. Your armpits should be scrubbed with water for 10 seconds each (until smell disappears). Your ass and crotch is the same. Just fucking wash it with some water.

THAT’S IT

You don’t need to use any L’Oreal super anti bacterial booster body shampoo nutritional vitamin anti ageing power soap. You don’t need them, throw them out and stop supporting the big stupid commercial companies that sell them. It should be clear to anyone that they don’t give a fuck about your health or the functionality of the product, all they care about is money.

More information on no-poo

I think I stopped using soap and shampoo like 4 years ago after reading about it online on some forum or something. And since then I have stumbled upon TONS of other people online who have quit soap and shampoo with great results. If you want more sources and info, check wikipedias no-poo page or just do a google search for “soap is unnecessary” or “stop using soap” or “no poo” or whatever.

***ACTION PLAN***

Go to your bathroom. Right NOW. Take all soap and shampoo products and throw them in a plastic bag. Put a note on the plastic bag that reminds you that you can only open it after a test period of 6 weeks. Then throw that motherfucking plastic bag into the very back of your closet or somewhere far away out of reach.

Your skin and hair might take a few weeks to regain its natural oil-balance, but after that you’ll be fine and you’ll never look back. Oh, and if you do something bad and go to prison, you won’t have to worry about dropping the soap either – NEAT!!!

Have an awesome soap free day.