We all have our inner demons when it comes to sex, dating, and women.
They are the voices that keep you up at night wondering and doubting. Time to say goodbye to these demons. This post was written to my younger self- when I was still living in a pink cloud when it came to dating and girls. Some reading this might very well be at that point in their lives where they are still a bit ignorant, just like I was when I was younger, so I decided to put it up anyways in the hopes we can discuss & learn from this with each other.
You probably know what I’m talking about. I’m here to share you some realities about women and dating you’re not gonna like but you know deep down are what you needed to hear.
This is not a hate-post. I love women. But I also know that ignorance in the game of dating does not equal bliss.
These realities might sound as if they come from a bitter and dark place but they are not. Consider them generalizations that will finally make you understand what is they mean with the phrase: “All is fair in love and war.”
By the end of this post I hope that, at least for some, you finally can get your ass off that pink cloud and join the real world. Though I still believe I’m a fucked up romantic deep down in some way, accepting these harsh realities (even if they are somewhat exaggerated) was a huge relief.
As the old saying goes: “The truth shall set you free”
Let’s get to it shall we?
16 Harsh Realities About Women & Dating
1. Women are fickle.
It sounds cliche, but as we all know women are more emotional than men are. As a result,most women don’t make any sense whatsoever.
She might be in ‘party mode’ on Tuesday, texting you to meetup and the next day she might think she suddenly wants ‘something more serious’ because she just watched a shitty rom-com with romantic ‘Mr-Perfect-fell-in- the- water-and-that’s-when-I-fell-in-love’ plots making her cancel her previous steamy plans.
2. Faithfulness is uncommon.
Most girls are unfaithful at some point– whether that means she has a one-night-stand once or has a secret lover for months or even years.
In my experience so far, a truly shocking number of girls are not faithful to their man if she is 1) horny enough and 2) the guy knows what he is doing. I’ve been with a lot of girls who had a boyfriend. They were usually just looking for some adventure. I’ve also been the guy who got cheated on. Trust me, it’s a lot more fun on the dark side.
3. Men have to make the first move- no exceptions.
Girls wait until the guy makes the first move whether that means walking up to her for the first time, texting her, calling her, kissing her, or escalating to sex.
Initially, you as a man have to do 99% of the work. I once read that it’s a mans job to get a girl to sleep with him and it’s the girls task to get the guy to commit after that. There might be some truth to that. Now you can sit around secretely wishing that ‘she’ is gonna text you because she just had an epiphany about what an awesome guy you really are but it’s not gonna happen my friend- sorry to burst your bubble.
You need to make the first move in 99% of the cases whether that means talking to her, texting her, calling her, inviting her over, kissing her, and escalating to sex.
4. Sometimes women just need some attention.
Women are like pussy-cats. Sometimes they just need you to pet them till they purr so they feel good about themselves again and can go about the rest of their day.
A surprisingly large number of women are a cocktease. They play with you (especially with the ignorant fools) and make you think you are gonna smash her at some point but it will never happen- for she just craved attention.
Don’t be ignorant enough to believe that you are the only one she sends ‘don’t-I-look-like-shit’ pictures where in reality she just spent 20minutes trying to make a sexy picture to make sure you will say she looks nice.
5. Some girls are in self-destruct mode.
There are women who (without sometimes even knowing it) are sabotaging themselves throughout their lives. They are in self-destruct mode.
I’ve known women who appear to be the ‘total package’: gorgeous, tall, sophisticated, cool, intelligent, you name it. Yet some of them openly admit they always go for the fucktards who could very well beat her within an inch of her life at some point.
They are in self-destruct mode and will always make poor dating-choices forever wondering why ‘they can never meet a cool guy’. I guess somewhere deep down they don’t feel ‘worthy‘ of a vigorous man. Avoid these girls at all cost.
6. An amazing date doesn’t mean shit.
Even if the two of you had an epic ‘date’ where the stars seemed to allign, the chemistry was off the charts, and you two had an amazing time together it still doesn’t mean jack-shit.
Because women are fickle and irrational it could very well be she wants something totally different the next day. I’ve had many dates with beautiful girls where it was more than obvious we vibed and clicked in a way that is rare not just in the dating scene but in life yet for whatever reason, we never talked again after that.
It doesn’t matter how amazing the night was- tomorrow is a new day. Anything can happen.
7. Amazing sex doesn’t mean shit.
So she came six times, screamed you must be the direct descendant of Hercules and was all over you during pillow-talk? Good for you.
It doesn’t mean jack-shit. Even if you have amazing sex or are a great lover in general, there are no guarantees in life. Similar to having an amazing date, having amazing sex is all about that specific point in time and tomorrow is a new day where anything can happen. It might keep here for a while but it won’t keep her forever.
8. You are replacable.
No matter how cool, ripped, rich, accomplished, sophisticated, free-spirited, manly, adventurous or good-looking you think you are, at the end of the day you are replacable.
The fact that mostwomen jump from relationship to relationship confirms this very statement. The truth is that attractive women will always have (sexual) options. After all, most guys will be likely thinking the same as you did when they see her: a fine piece of ass with a great personality.
That means they will somehow make it obvious that they are interested in her. If she is drawn to one of these guys for whatever reason then you will be biting the dust sooner or later.
9. She’s had bigger.
Unless you are 10” and your native American nickname is “He-Who-Has-Three-Legs” chances are- she has had bigger. A lot bigger.
Read it, accept it, and move on. It doesn’t really fucking matter. Luckily I’ve learned that good sex is more than having a huge dick.
Big Freddy might be packin’ a hella lot more, and in theory, you might be the underdog, but can he make her feel like a real woman? Can he make her feel sexy, desired, and respected? Can he kiss her as if she is the last woman on earth he will ever kiss- even if it’s just a ONS. Can he fuck her and make love to her as if it is the last time he will ever do so?
The answer is probably: No he can’t. Develop your sexual stamina, your body, and your personality. If you want to get bigger, use the bathmate pump, I gained almost and inch with this pump (Click here to checkout my results)
10. Be wary if she is overly-affectionate.
When women are overly affectionate it’s often because they feel that they need to ‘make up‘ for something.
Wanting to cuddle until it’s driving you crazy, telling you that she loves you over and over again, or focusing all her attention on you without any reason should raise some suspicion. It’s basic human psychology- when we do ‘harm’ to someone we will feel bad later. That feeling will cause us to adjust our behavior to ‘make up’ for something we did in the vain hope of that ‘bad feeling’ going away.
Therefore, be wary next time a girl is overly affectionate for no reason.
11. Girls love sex more than you do.
Newsflashs: girls love sex just as much if not more than you do. Fortunately a lot of guys nowadays know this to be true but a lot still don’t. Girls just wanna have fun and that’s the god honest truth. Especially younger girls will want to experiment a lot before they ‘commit’. Accepting this will help you be a lot more attractive and sexual when it comes to women because you understand them better.
12. If she doesn’t respond someone else is doing a better job.
If you two had a little somethin’ somethin’ going on and out of the blue she doesn’t respond to your messages anymore it’s usually because someone else is doing a better job than you.
Though this is an exaggeration, it’s one of the realities that I personally had a lot of problems with when I started man-whoring around. There is always a bigger fish and though we obviously strive to be ‘that big fish’ she could always have better sexual chemistry with someone else or be with an absolute sexual rockstar and not ‘need you’ anymore.
Stop worrying about it and move on.
13. Women are attracted to money and power.
Men like beautiful women. Women like powerful men which is often acquired through money.
Him being the big boss with an 8-figure bank account is the male equivalent of the blonde bikini-model seductively walking out the ocean. I even had a female colleague, a cool and intelligent girl who openly admitted she had a thing for powerful men and I don’t blaim here. In modern society we associate wealth and power with success which, in term, we associate with ‘that magic personality and mindset’.
Thus, power and wealth are not just attractive to women bot to anyone. There is a reason you see 25year old models dating fat, old, wealthy men- it isn’t true love Ill tell you that.
14. Women have a predisposition to feel attracted to ‘badboys’.
Most women are genetically drawn to the adventurous badboy type.
This is actually a good thing, because it means you can dress like one and to some degree, behave like one to set her ovaries on fire. Typical ‘badboys’ are the symbol of rebellion, adventure, decisiveness, and a care-free life. Traits which a lot of men in modern society do not possess therefore making it stand out and attractive.
15. Promiscuity leads and follows commitment.
A lot of women out there feel that they need to have ‘one last naughty weekend‘ before they truly commit to a guy.
Similarly, they also seem to have this desire once they are single again. There were a lot of steamy nights and weekends with girls who, I later found out, got in a serious relationship not even a week after I had been with them- meanwhile I was wondering why they didn’t texted back again.
A particularly memorable weekend was one in a high-end hotel with a gorgeous Swedish girl who just wanted to feel like ‘a dirty little girl’ once more before she got with some guy aweek later. Situations like this happen all the time. Ofcourse, just like men they usually go in full-blown party mode after the end a long-term relationship.
I’ve seen it happen over and over again: ‘innocent’ little princesses going on a promiscious frenzy once the relationship was over.
16. There is Always an Ex-boyfriend present on the background.
If the girl is attractive that means she has a history and that means there is always some ex-boyfriend lurking around.
In my experience a lot of girls will always keep in touch with their ex, at least in the beginning. Whether it means they sometimes text, meetup, or just have each other still on Whatsapp, the step to reunite is just 1 text message away. In fact, a lot of girls I had an awesome time with didn’t respond again because it turned out they got back with their ex again or started dating each other again.
17. Most women don’t know what they want.
In all honesty, I feel that the fickle behavior is often a result of unresolved inner dialectic struggles.
She doesn’t know if she wants to be sleeping around or commit- so she goes from one to the other just like that without hesitation. In the end most girls don’t know what it is they really want. This is normal, most people just don’t know exactly what they want. As a result, the whole dating game is pretty fucking chaotic.
Ofcourse to every reality there are exceptions. Women are not evil- they are fun! That being said, get off that pink cloud and join reality- it will set you free. In the end I still feel that there must be women out there who lead by example and are mature enough not to follow these behavioral patterns but they are a rarity.
The Take-Away
So in the end, what can we learn from all this?
Well, apart from the 16 small lessons I think there are three big take-aways from all this.
1. Guilty until proven innocent.
I used to think all women were innocent little girls until proven guilty. They all got my respect, loyalty, commitment and trust without ever having earned it. Now I always tell myself every woman, no matter how innocent she might look, is guilty until proven innocent. That means that she has to earn my respect, loyalty, commitment, and trust through her behavior- not her words.
2. Don’t make her your adventure.
A buddy of one of my roommates was here the other day, going on and on about his girl and how she was the only thing he looked forward to all week. This is a very unhealthy attitude to have. Don’t make her your adventure, no matter how cool she is. Instead, take her on an adventure and never forget about your passions in life when you decide to commit to her. Your passions are your adventure, and she just happens to follow you along the ride
3. Build a fulfilling life for YOU.
Instead of bitching around focus on developing a fulfilling life where you can be happy even if you are going through a dry-spell. Get ripped, build a business, move to an awesome city,become financially independent, inspire others, contribute to the world. Whatever it is, make sure you do it all for you- not her.