The Psychological Causes of Premature Ejaculation

What Are The Underlying Causes?

PE in all forms is often a result of underlying causes. These causes can be physiological or psychological in nature. A lot of websites out there will tell you that it’s all physical and that more ‘experience’ will solve all of your problems. This is simply not true. It has been proven that both problems can be psychogenic in nature (originating in the mind) rather than physical. Often though, it is a combination of the two. We’ll walk through the most common psychological factors that cause PE and discuss on how we can combat those causes.

Though there could be numerous causes, it is behind the scope of this book to go through every single potential cause. Still, to give a good idea of the most likely causes of PE I’ve made an overview so you can see which would be most likely applicable to your case.

The Most Common Psychological Causes of PE

There are three main psychological causes of PE namely:

1). Mental Stress
2). Performance Anxiety
3). Inexperience

1). Mental Stress

Stress can be one of those subtle forces that you won’t notice immediately- this is why it can be really hard to find out whether this is what is holding you back. Stress is similar to a kitchen sink. If you open the water faucet the water (stress) flows in the sink (your well being) and will exit through the sink drain (relaxing). If you put a plug in the drain, preventing water from running out (not relaxing or taking a break when your body tells you to), the water level (stress level) will increase and the pace depends on how much water comes out. If you don’t pull the plug every now and then, the water (stress) will accumulate and might cause problems along the way expressed in a wide variety of ways but usually are often to be seen in the body first.

The tricky thing is that even drops of water accumulating over time can still increase the level of stress you’re experiencing on a daily basis until it’s too late (often resulting in some form of a so called nervous breakdown or depression).

Whether it is financial stress, work related stress, bad time management, stressful relationships or something totally different that is causing you stress; they can all influence your sexual performance. It can definitely result in premature ejaculation for it increases tension and rigidness in the body. In general though, it’s not likely that stress is the sole cause of premature ejaculation. Just keep in mind that it definitely can influence your well being and sexual performance.

So how do you know that you’re suffering from stress related PE? The truth is that you’ll probably never know for sure. However, if you often feel restless, have trouble sleeping at night or feel you can’t focus on tasks as you normally can you might be putting too much stress on yourself.


If you are suffering from some form of PE, underlying stress often results in rapid ejaculation with a partner or when you are alone because the Caveman needs to ‘alleviate’ stress so to say.


We all have our own methods of dealing with stress in our lives. Nonetheless, there are some general activities we can undertake that will definitely let you blow out some steam and therefore lower your cortisol level (stress hormones).

Taking some time off from whatever is causing you to feel stress is an obvious one here.

In fact, it has been scientifically proven that regular physical exercise helps lower stress. Furthermore, as mentioned earlier, meditation can really help. The bonus is that you’ll be simultaneously working on both reconnecting and dealing with stress in your life which ultimately means better sex.

Lastly, taking a walk every now and then through nature can be a great solution because it simply takes your mind of things which is what this is about. There are thousands of other ways of dealing with stress but you can’t go wrong by going with one of the suggestions mentioned above. Try to think about ways you relax and think about implementing them in your daily ‘routine’.

2). Performance Anxiety

Anxiety is often closely related with inexperience since many of us feel the need to perform at our best placing tremendous pressure on ourselves. Performance anxiety is tricky because the amount of performance anxiety you are experiencing at any given moment in time is highly dependent upon the situation. You might be having no performance anxiety with a girl you’ve been seeing for a while but with that hot new girl it might skyrocket. The problem here is that you don’t feel capable on a consistent basis which leads up to anxiety, and eventually, premature ejaculation.


You can last much longer when you’re alone but generally cum rather quickly if you’re with a partner. In any ‘sexual situation’ you’re essentially going into ‘flight’ mode, releasing all tension by ejaculating prematurely.


In general, the scientific community agrees that one of the best ways to deal with performance anxiety is with a method called systematic desensitization. What this means is that you go through several stages of graduate exposure to your ‘phobia’.

In this case you obviously don’t have a phobia but the same notion applies because the ‘phobia’ is having sex and performing well. Note that this is not the same as the type of desensitization we talked about earlier. Systematic desensitization is simply about getting comfortable with the source of anxiety in a gradually increasing pace. The problem with this however, is that it is hard to implement when it comes to dealing with performance anxiety in the bedroom. However, you can use a tool called a Fleshlight if you want to decrease the intensity of the anxiety you’re experiencing once you know you’re about to ‘perform’ so to say.

In addition to that there is another way and though you might feel we’re going in circles here it’s simply this: relaxation. If you suffer from performance anxiety learning to relax is a very powerful tool. Again it is strongly tied to the idea of becoming more in tune with your own body. In a later stage we’ll walk through the exact steps on how to relax even if you are extremely tense due to the anxiety you’re experiencing. A little hint: breathing.

3). Inexperience

Inexperience often goes hand in hand with anxiety. Inexperience is a normal part of the process for all of us and usually isn’t a truly grounded psychological cause of premature ejaculation. Nonetheless, it is worthy of mentioning since inexperience could also lead up to anxiety or more specifically, sexual anxiety. In a case of severe sexual anxiety any sexual activity might even be postponed deliberately because the person might not feel ‘capable’.

When the person does engage in sex however, the extreme sexual anxiety often causes tension causing which in turn often ends the deed quickly. In this article we’ll walk through how to combat the physical expression of this problem.


You have no trouble lasting long(er) when you’re by yourself but consistently cum prematurely when you’re with a partner. In addition to that, you don’t have a huge amount of sexual experience build up yet.


Because you’ll feel inadequate due to a lack of experience I highly suggest that you gain some experience with the Fleshlight as mentioned before. By ‘practicing’ with a Fleshlight a bit and working on your stamina you’ll slowly but surely develop the confidence that will help you in the bedroom when it’s time for the real deal. The Fleshlight itself is originally an adult-industry sex toy. However, I’ve found that this amazing device is a heaven sent gift to work on our ability to last longer. You can buy it here.

Pour Conclure

•PE has psychological as well as physiological underlying causes and is often caused by a combination of factors coming into play.

•The most common psychological causes of PE are mental stress, performance anxiety, and inexperience.

•It’s best to combat mental stress by meditating or relaxing and performance anxiety and inexperience by practicing with a Fleshlight and applying diaphragmatic breathing techniques (will write an article soonon these techniques).

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