So you want to give her a good time with your hands but you aren’t sure what to do or would just like to up your game- not to worry. Let me help. This is a 2 Part series- this part will be covering some basic techniques, interesting anatomy stuff you probably didn’t know and in the article I’ll cover the G-spot,Deepspot, Aspot, squirting and what not. Enjoy! For now, let me show you the basics of fingering a girl (external).
Boys=Girls
In fetal development ‘male’ and ‘female’ genitalia are pretty much identical until a couple months in. That means that the tissues that later evolve in either a penis or a vagina (correct term is vulva but who cares right). Thus, the tissues itself are pretty much corresponding even after its clear it’s a girl or boy.
Knowing this will give you a head start because it will help you get a better understanding of how a certain way of touching/stroking/licking/sucking/biting/etc will feel to her- because it will feel somewhat similar for you. So what are the corresponding tissues?
Men Women
Balls Labia
Shaft Clitoral shaft
Frenulum Frenulum*
Head of penis Clitoris
*the frenulum is the smooth silky tissue right below her clit but I’m sure you knew that;)
Now in general, what we as men like, will also feel good to women. Just knowing this will really help you become gifted at fingering a girl.
Generally speaking this is what sort of stimulation the tissues enjoy best:
- Labia like pinching/stretching and soft sliding movements.
- Shafts enjoy being stroked.
- Frenulum likes sliding and slight pressure.
- The clit likes suction/licking/and rubbing (but not like an idiot).
Just try it out on yourself. You wouldn’t stroke your ball sack would you? You wouldn’t pinch the head of your penis either. You need to be aware that particular tissues like a particular way of stimulation (in general).
I often say ‘in general’ because everyone girl is different obviously. They are all wired differently, and their area will vary significantly in size, texture and color so always keep an eye on her subtle signals and adjust accordingly.
She Has a Small Penis
Think of it like this: she basically has a small penis- after all, women have a shaft just like men do but it’s a lot smaller obviously. With men it’s about centimeters, with women it’s about millimeters. Men get erections, women get ‘herections’.
That means that you even though the tissues are very similar, you wouldn’t be stimulating her just like you would stimulate yourself. We men tend to choke-grip jerk off, and women would definitely not appreciate this.
Weird as it might sound- thinking of her area like a small penis will also help A LOT when you are eating her out (more on this later).
A little hint: more sucking, less flicking.
The Clit is Just the Tip of The Iceberg
Beneath her clit there is an entire structure of sensitive tissues that will bring her pleasure so don’t focus on the clit like a bull would run towards a red flag.
It pisses me off when people talk about the clit as if it’s some sort of magical button- as they often do when talking about the G-spot. The clit is just the tip of the ice it really is.
Her clit is attached to the shaft (remember) and it goes in a wishbone shape with two legs called the crus. Her Gspot is not another wonderbar spot- it is just the back of her clitoral tissue. Just like assgasms are just the back of the deepspot.
Now this is important: BETWEEN these legs there are two sensitive ‘balloon’s that fill with blood when she gets aroused- these are called the vestibular bulbs.
The evolutionary reason for these bulbs are to ensure a tight vaginal cuff when she is being penetrated by a guy. So if she is aroused her entire area will fill with blood-causing it to look bigger and change in color.
However her vaginal opening will tighten a bit because the bulbs push her vaginal walls together:
Warming Her Up
Warming her up properly is not only about taking your time- it’s also about stimulating her ENTIRE area- and that means massaging her vestibular bulbs too. That alone will be appreciate by a lot of girls though you shouldn’t make the mistake of taking fucking forever.
After all, how annoying can it be if you are super horny but a girl spends ages ‘warming you up’ instead of doing her ‘thing’. There is definitely a time and place for slow and lots of buildup obviously- but sometimes the length of ‘warming her up’ is exaggerated so keep that in mind. Warm her up-but don’t spend all afternoon doing so.
Tip 1: Stretch Her Skin
It’s a fact: stretched skin is more sensitive than ‘loose’ skin. That means that just stretching her area a bit (or opening her up) will also make everything more sensual and sensitive for her. Simple yet effective.
Tip 2: Establish Rhythm- Think Of Your Favorite Song
Next time you are fingering her (or fucking her) think of your favorite song.
It might not come as a surprise that women in general appreciate a guy with at least a basic sense of rhythm. Easy to understand, but for some, hard to implement.
By thinking of a song with a cool rhythm and playing it in your mind you can easily establish a rhythm that will:
- Be kinky enough to help her ‘push her over the top’.
- Yet ‘stable’ enough to help her get there in first place.
Personally I often like songs of Bob Marley, Maduk and some lounge but hey, everyone is different. I just hope you don’t do any Justin Bieber shit. Oh, and Metallica is probably not your best bet either.
Tip 3: If She is About to Cum- KEEP GOING
If she is close to orgasm, don’t change ANYTHING you are doing. Why would you? Doing what you are doing helped her get close in the first place.
It took me a while to really get this to be honest. As I noticed a girl would be close to cumming I’d change things up, Id went from circular motions to stroking or I’d slide a finger in her. Don’t do it. Keep the pace (rhythm) as it is, keep stimulating her like you did.
When actually having sex though, this doesn’t apply. Then you often need to ‘push her over the edge’ but going harder/deeper/faster but that’s just my experience.
IMPORTANT: Stimulate Her INDIRECTLY
There is one last thing I want to cover before talking about some actual fingering technique: the importance of stimulating her indirect. What do I mean by that? It means you move the skin ABOVE the sensitive areas.
For example: instead of going for her clit directly, you can push her hood down OVER her clit and rub it. This way you won’t annoy her, and the stimulation will be smooth and complete.
It has the following advantages:
- You won’t hurt or annoy her.
- You stimulate the ENTIRE sensitive area.
- Helps her reach orgasm faster.
Now this might take some practice. You need to develop a certain level of awareness and sensitivity in your hands and fingers if you want to do it properly. For example, just trace your fingers over one of the veins on the inside of your wrist. You feel the vein beneath the skin right? Now slide and move the skin over that area.
THAT’S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
Slide/move/stroke the skin over the sensitive tissues. That will really be something that will help her reach orgasm real fast if you do it right.
*of course you can (and should) also stimulate her (clit) directly from time to time- or a lot of times if she really likes it. Sex isn’t rocket science, it’s an art.
10 Ways to Give a Girl A Clitoral Orgasm with Your HANDS
Though there are numerous ways of stimulating a girl- I want to cover some basics with you.It’s best to watch the video but if that won’t work for you now you can just continue reading. I made an overview with some pictures where I’m showing the techniques on a Fleshlight [so nsfw]:
*note that in some pictures the Fleshlight is flipped 180degrees:)
1. Massaging Her Vestibular Bulbs (warming up).
Massage her vestibular bulbs with your thumb and index finger in a rhythmic motion at various places. Don’t stay in one place, work the entire labia area (where the vestibular bulbs are).
2. Massaging Her Clit.
Massage her clit with your thumb and index finger in a rhythmic motion. Don’t be afraid to apply some pressure here- she’ll like it. A lot. If you do it correctly her clit will pop in and out.
It’s a good way of stimulating her indirectly and will feel really good to her.
3. Pinching Her Labia.
With your thumb and index finger softly pinch and roll her labia and work your way around but not in a predictable manner.
Remember, it’s just like your ball sack.
4. Applying Pressure On Her Fourchette.
Apply some pressure on her fourchette with one of your fingers while kissing her and doing other fun stuff. It’s just a nice subtle thing to add I think.
5. Rubbing Her Labia.
Gently rub her labia with all your fingers. Slide your hands over her area but make sure you don’t use dry hands- that’s fucking horrible.
6. Grabbing Her Entire Area
A good way to stimulate her vestibular bulbs, clitoral legs and her clit itself. You can massage her really nice this way. Use your thumb , index and middle finger.
7. Stroking Her Clit & Shaft.
Slide your index and middle finger between het lips- catching her clit. Then go in circular, up & down, or sideway motions in a nice rhythm. (REAL GOOD TO MAKE HER CUM).
8. Stimulating Her Clit Via Her Clitoral Hood.
With your index finger and middle finger SLIDE her hood OVER her clit and then go in circular, up & down or sideway motions. It’s a really good example of stimulating her indirectly and will feel really good.
9. Slide Up Her Clitoral Hood.
AFTER she is warm dup and super aroused, with a WET finger and trimmed nails SLOWLY slide one finger under her hood a bit and SLOWLY stimulate her clit directly by going in circular motions (remember- millimeters not centimeters is what counts).
10. Stroking Her Shaft.
With your index and middle finger stroke her shaft by making sure you ‘trap’ her shaft and clit. Go up and down or in circular motions.
Like I said, there are numerous ways of making a girl feel good with your hands. I just covered the basics for now but hopefully you learned a thing or two.